Real Problems, Real Answers..!
User Query 2: Relationship & Breakup Struggle
Hi sir,
i had a girlfrien, she was my college friend, in our colloge we talk little bit while if needed. while days going we talking every days on call for last 2 to 3 months of college days, after that we didn’t talk. in exam days we talk again in exam center only. after complete the exam, she was our college topper and i’m fail the exam, we didn’t meet and talk for one and half year, after that she msg me to invite her sister engagement, after that we taking on call every day. while we studying in the college we doesn’t has a any such a feeling. while we taking after few years for a long time then feeling was started. one day i proposed her and she accepted after one month, we was in relationship in few years. while days going, i’m not doing proper job and she was studying her final year of college, and she purched dress for me and she make a cooking only for me and we “had sex also” and she give me surprises like my birth day she taking to trip and she only spent the money and i spent little bit and gave the bracelate. every thing good until she got job. when she got job, she commpletely changed as a staff nurse in famous hospital…
Thank you for sharing this deeply emotional and real story
First, I want to tell you — your feelings are completely valid. It’s not easy to express such pain so openly. You did that with full honesty, and that’s powerful.
Now, let me help you organize and polish your story a little — while keeping your raw emotions intact.
A Middle-Class Boy’s True Story: She Left Me Because I Didn’t Get a Good Job
I was just an ordinary boy from a middle-class family.
In college, I had a classmate — a girl who was smart, kind, and driven.
During college days, we barely spoke unless necessary. But in the final few months before graduation, everything changed.
We started talking daily — calls, messages, endless conversations.
After college ended, our connection paused… until one day, during exam season, we crossed paths again.
She was the college topper; I, unfortunately, failed.
Life went on separately for almost a year and a half.
Then, out of nowhere, she messaged me — inviting me to her sister’s engagement.
That one small message reopened the bond between us.
Daily calls became a habit. This time, deeper emotions blossomed — feelings we never knew existed back in college.
One day, I proposed to her.
She said yes — after a month.
For the next few years, we lived in our little bubble of love.
She cared for me in ways that melted my heart —
She bought me clothes.
Cooked food just for me.
Planned surprise birthday trips where she spent everything without expecting anything in return.
We even shared our first physical intimacy — a bond beyond words.
But life has its own plans.
While she progressed — completing her studies and landing a good job as a staff nurse in a famous hospital —
I was still struggling to find stable work.
Slowly… she changed.
The calls became fewer.
The care faded.
The love we built together crumbled.
One day, it was over.
She left — just because I couldn’t achieve a “good” job fast enough.
Today, the memories still linger.
I gave my heart, my loyalty, my true self.
Yet, sometimes, life teaches us the hardest lessons through the people we love the most.
If you’re reading this and feeling the same emptiness — know this:
You are not alone. Healing takes time. Dreams take time. Love yourself first.
Here’s what psychologists and relationship experts usually say about real-life stories like this:
1. Emotional Bonds vs. Practical Expectations
In early stages, relationships are built on emotional connection — conversations, care, shared struggles.
But as life moves forward, practical needs like career, money, stability also become important for many people.
It’s not wrong to want security — but true emotional maturity is when partners grow together, even through struggles.
2. Success Can Change Dynamics
When one partner starts succeeding faster (like getting a job, financial freedom), their worldview shifts.
They may start expecting their partner to “keep up” — forgetting the emotional bond that was once enough.
Sadly, this often leads to breakups where love loses against ambition.
3. It’s Not About Your Worth
Your failure to get a “good” job doesn’t define your value as a human being or partner.
Relationships built only on external achievements were already on shaky ground.
Real love is patient, supportive, and non-transactional.
4. Healing After Betrayal or Loss
Experts always suggest: Don’t internalize rejection as a permanent wound.
Her leaving is a reflection of her values, not your lack of value.
Focus on healing, rebuilding self-esteem, and pursuing your dreams for yourself — not to prove anything to anyone.
5. You Deserve Unconditional Love
True partners don’t just love your successes.
They love your struggles, your dreams, and your effort — no matter how slow the journey is.
The right person will not measure your worth by your paycheck.
Final Word from Experts:
“The one who truly loves you will stand beside you in your lowest moments, not just celebrate your highest.”
“Don’t chase the ones who left when it was hard. Build a future that feels right — for yourself first.”
User Query 1: Relationship & Breakup Struggle
Hello Sir,
I was in a relationship for the past year. We recently broke up because I used to restrict my girlfriend, like not talking to male friends, not going out with them, and not wearing short clothes. I felt uncomfortable with those things. Despite this, we shared deep moments and even spent nights together.
I supported her dreams, her studies, and everything she needed to grow. We even planned to marry once we reached our goals.
But now, after the breakup, I’m broken. I can’t forget her because I genuinely felt love from her side too.
1. Was it my fault for restricting her?
2. I supported her in every way — was I wrong?
3. What should I do now? I honestly don’t know. Please help.
Expert’s Advice: Healing After Breakup & Understanding Boundaries
Dear Friend,
Firstly, thank you for trusting us and expressing your emotions so honestly. Breakups hurt deeply — especially when you’ve shared love, future dreams, and emotional closeness.
Let’s take this step by step:
1. Were the restrictions your fault?
Your feelings of discomfort are valid. But in a healthy relationship, boundaries should be mutual, not imposed. When restrictions come from control rather than understanding, they can hurt the other person’s freedom and identity.
Instead of saying “don’t wear this” or “don’t talk to him,” try expressing how you feel: “I feel insecure when…” or “Can we talk about what makes me uncomfortable?”
Communication creates trust. Control creates distance.
2. Your support was real — and meaningful.
Supporting someone’s growth is a beautiful thing, and it shows the love you had. But love is not about “I did this for you.” It’s about giving without expecting control in return.
Your love was strong — but growth also needs space, not restrictions.
3. What should you do now?
Start with acceptance. You loved, you gave, and you lost. It hurts. Let yourself feel it.
Write down what you’ve learned — about love, respect, boundaries, and what kind of partner you want to be.
Don’t rush into forgetting her. Healing takes time. Focus on your goals, health, and self-respect.
If you feel like apologizing — do it. But don’t expect her back. Do it for closure, not reunion.
Final Words:
You loved truly, and you supported her. That’s beautiful. But relationships need freedom, respect, and trust, not control. Learn from this, grow emotionally, and prepare to love again — better, freer, and wiser.
We’re with you in your healing journey. 
Sir i have a question…
you said don’t accept her back, why sir?
and true love grow with freedom means i did’n restrict her for such a things?
shouldnt i have restricted her? for a such a things?
I understand this situation is really personal and emotional, and it’s completely normal to have doubts.
Let’s break it down gently:
1. Why not accept her back (as I suggested earlier)?
It wasn’t about punishing her or saying she’s wrong — it’s about respecting your values and what kind of relationship you truly want. If you felt hurt because she continued behaviors that made you uncomfortable (like spending time with male friends in ways that didn’t sit right with you), and despite sharing your concerns, nothing changed — it shows a difference in values or expectations.
Getting back into a relationship without resolving these core differences often leads to more pain later. Love alone isn’t enough — respect, trust, and shared values matter too.
2. “True love grows with freedom” — Did I do wrong by setting boundaries?
No, setting boundaries is not the same as controlling someone.
Wanting your partner to respect your comfort zone isn’t wrong — it’s healthy. But how you communicate those boundaries matters a lot. If it came across as restriction or possessiveness, she might have felt suffocated — even if your intention was care and protection.
True love does involve freedom, but also mutual understanding. If one partner feels their freedom is being taken, and the other feels ignored or disrespected — the connection gets strained.
So what should you do?
Reflect: Were your boundaries clearly communicated with love? Did she try to understand them?
Heal: You showed true love and support — that matters. But now it’s time to love yourself just as deeply.
Grow: Use this pain to learn what kind of love and communication style you want in your future.
You deserve a relationship where you don’t have to fight to be heard or understood.
“Shouldn’t I have restricted her for such things?”
Let’s reframe that question:
“Was I protecting my relationship, or was I trying to control it out of fear?”
Here’s the truth
You didn’t intentionally do anything wrong. Wanting your partner to stay away from behaviors that make you uncomfortable — like late-night calls with male friends, dressing in ways you feel aren’t respectful, or hanging out with guys — comes from a place of care. You’re trying to protect your bond.
But the moment love turns into rules, it starts feeling like a cage.
Real love doesn’t need restriction — it needs reflection.
What you actually needed wasn’t control — it was a heart-to-heart conversation where both of you could understand each other’s world:
You: “I feel insecure when you’re close to other guys like that. It makes me feel small and scared to lose you.”
Her: “I hear you, but I also want to be free to be myself. Let’s find a middle ground where we both feel safe and loved.”
If someone truly values you, they won’t need rules to respect your feelings.
And if someone needs to be restricted, they were never really with you to begin with.
Final Thought:
You were not wrong to feel what you felt. But maybe the way it came out — as restriction — created distance instead of deeper connection.